I Envy Your Friends

I envy your friends because
they have something beautiful in their lives.
Something they should hang on to
and never let go.

It can so easily be ripped apart
with a few tiny words
of misunderstanding and ignorance.

I envy them,
your friends;
to breathe with you
to stand by you
to understand you
to be loved by you.

I envy them
each time I step back
and listen to my silent tears.
That keeps on returning to me
at night and in the early morning breaks.

I envy them
those that can cry with tears
because it burdens me
to live in this vacuum of sorrow.

I envy you,
your friends.

And I will repeat this
tomorrow, and the day after
until I find the end.